As I mentioned in my little introductory post a few days ago, I'm hoping to be living in Dublin again in a couple of months if I am accepted into university. For the past eight years I have lived in Wexford with my family, but I have actually missed my home city a great deal, so I'm itching to get back to it.
We moved to Wexford in the summer of 2004 when I was nearly twelve. In fact, I started at my new school on my twelfth birthday - the joys of being born at the very start of September! It was probably the scariest day of my life. The reasons for leaving Dublin were long and complicated, but my parents had been unhappy there for a while. Not unhappy with Dublin itself, but more specifically with the particular area we were living in, which was going pretty downhill. They fancied a complete change rather than staying in the city with its increasing house prices. So down to Wexford we trooped. We settled in a small village a few minutes outside of Enniscorthy, which shall remain nameless at the risk of being lynched by any locals who might somehow stumble upon this blog (and I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if they did). To be honest, it was the most difficult thing I've ever gone through to date. There's nothing fun and exciting about being wrenched away from your home, your friends, your school and everything you knew and being plunged into a lonely alien world. That sounds incredibly melodramatic I know, but trust me, it really is an alien world.
Not that I want to place any blame whatsoever on my parents. They already feel guilty enough, even now, and occasionally question whether they did the right thing. I understand, more so now than I did at the time, why they did what they did. They simply didn't want us to grow up among dangerous people. But at the same time, I did feel a lot of resentment towards this place for various reasons. Living in the countryside has one advantage - the incredible scenery, especially in good weather, and I have slowly learned to appreciate that over the years I've been here. There's nothing quite as relaxing as taking a long walk with the dog through the wood, and it's nice being able to see the stars on a clear night. But there are so many disadvantages too.
I don't care what anyone says, there is a huge difference between city people and country people generally. I'm not suggesting that all country people are the same, because I have some great friends down here who are completely different to the kind of people I am about to describe. But there are so many people here with a standoffish attitude. Basically it doesn't matter how long you may have lived here: once an outsider, always an outsider. The insular mentality of some people also bothers me. They couldn't care less about anything outside of their own little world. They have no wider interests and have never ventured outside of this village. That, to me, is ridiculous. It's just wasting your life. How can someone have absolutely no interests or ambitions?
In a way, when you've spent your whole life in Dublin you can really easily take it for granted. I never thought very much about it while I was living there. It was only when I moved to Wexford that I realised how great it had actually been. Whenever I go back to visit family or go to a concert, I'm always left with an ache when I have to leave again. It really annoys me when people insist that I'm practically from the country now. It's just not true. I have still spent more of my life in Dublin than I ever have in Wexford - twelve years there versus eight years here - and I have never lost my accent. Dublin has always felt like home to me, and it always will be home. It's comforting and familiar, and when I'm back there it's like I never left. When I come back to Wexford, on the other hand, I'm returning to a place with which I have no emotional ties whatsoever. Wexford has never been home to me. There is nothing for me here other than being able to spend time with my best friend, but even she doesn't live here full-time anymore as she is at university in the UK. Other than that, there is actually nothing to do. This place can really suffocate you. I had a teacher once who advised us all to get out while we could and see some of the world. Sound advice.
I have missed Dublin so much ever since leaving, and I'm unbelievably excited about the prospect of moving back to go to university. I'll be closer to my extended family and will be able to experience all that city life has to offer. And this time I'll know better than to take it for granted - I'm going to treasure every second of it.
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